Tradition

Christmas is just shy of two weeks away, and on Facebook and Pinterest friends are discussing whether they "do" Santa and voicing their opinions on those crazy Elves on the Shelves.

I don't begrudge anyone a right to their opinion, but I do have to admit that as a child....well, actually until I got married and no longer woke up on Christmas morning in my mom's house, Santa stuffed our stockings and left us presents (unwrapped and all assembled) under the tree. He always ate a few bites of the cookies and drank some of the milk. Even long after we knew the truth, we still giggled at night and waited anxiously for morning to come so we could run in to see what the fat man left.

My sister, my brothers and I all accepted Christ at young ages (between 6-8 for all of us). Maybe we're all extraordinarily gifted, but we never once misunderstood the gospel message or thought that our mother was lying to us just because she played up the idea of Santa Claus to us.

My parents and grandparents lied about plenty while raising us ("don't make that face; it'll get stuck that way", "kids who drink coffee don't grow" or "coffee will put hair on your chest" (obviously I had an issue with coffee even then)....and yet it didn't alter my perception of what real truth is. Sometimes it's really ok for a child to learn truth as they grow up on their own. I believed I'd catch a cold if I went outside with wet hair until I was in college microbiology. And that's ok.

When Paul and I started out our parenting career, we discussed the whole thing and I was feeling led to focus only on the birth of Jesus and not "do" Santa.

That lasted one year. Paul and I both missed the traditions we grew up with and didn't want our kids to miss out on the fun.

Don't get me wrong....my kids know all about St. Nicholas and the origins of "Santa Claus". We totally celebrate the birth of Christ and we celebrate the Advent and read the Biblical account (we just read Mary's Magnificat last night)....and yet we somehow have successfully combined that with the tradition of Santa and reindeer and cookies & milk.

We even have an Elf on the Shelf. We've had him since 2006.

This is Little Dave:

Last night he pulled nursery duty.

The kids thought it was a hoot.

Lest you think my kids are a bunch of imbeciles, my 6th grader is finishing his first semester at Holy Crosswith all A's. Griffin is knocking out all A's in 3rd, and Annie is the only kindergartner in her school that is reading through the Little House on the Prairie series like other 6 year olds are reading Green Eggs and Ham.

What I'm saying is that my kids are smart kids who know the truth of Jesus and what His birth meant, and continues to mean, to all humankind. My kids actually have a much better grasp on what Christmas really means than either Paul or I did at their ages.

So amidst the lists pleading for new electronics and Legos and Barbies, my kids will bake a birthday cake and have a party on Christmas Eve for Jesus. We will write down our gifts to Him for the next year and place them in His stocking....and we will take out what we wrote last year and talk about how we did or didn't do and what we can do to help each other in the next year. We will read Luke's account of Jesus' birth and we will join hands and pray.

And then the kids will say goodbye to Dave for another year and we will dose them up with Melatonin persuade them to go to bed until morning. We'll stay up late getting everything together and ready and put them under the tree.

And when all is said and done, I have a feeling that my kids will have memories of our family traditions and be okay with it all.

Merry Christmas.

A New Season

In the morning I will have a complete hysterectomy.

I will never again live in a state of "what if?!?!" when my period is late.

I will never again feel the absolute THRILL of seeing the stick turn pink. {and doing 7 more tests...just to be sure...}

I will never again feel the queasiness that only a newly pregnant woman knows.
{You know, when you smile while you're puking because you're so stinking happy that your hormone levels are high, yet you feel so crappy that you'd sell your right arm for a Phenergan or Zofran.}

I will never again feel those first kicks and flips and flutters of an actual human being inside your body. {and wonder, to yourself only, is it gas or is it the baby? and who can I ask? or should I just stay quiet until I'm sure?...}

I will never again scour baby name books or family trees in search of the perfect name. {I never got to use some of my favorites: Nolan, Bennett, Owen, Marshall, Mary Paige, Avery, Evelyn, Greer...}

I will never again sit up late at night doing crossword puzzles while having contractions and wonder "is this it?" {is it a cramp? should I call the doctor? nah, I don't want to wake him up. should I?}

I will never again hear that first cry and think to myself "There really WAS a baby in there!!" {there is honest to God no better sound in the world!}

My brain knows without question that I am ready for this...but my heart....my heart is what prompted me to ask the ultrasound tech if she saw a heartbeat anywhere in the midst of my 47 year old fibroid filled uterus during a pre-op test. {Her answer was a sad, puzzled look that said "oh-my-God-is-this-woman-psychotic??}

I will admit I've shed a lot of tears in the past month. And I'm pretty sure there are a lot more to come.

David wrote in Psalm 30 "Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning."

Is it morning yet?

Liba

Thanksgiving is just a few days away, and on Facebook, friends are listing things they are thankful for each and every day. I'm not sure why I didn't jump on the bandwagon...after all, that sounds like something I'd do.

Don't get me wrong...I have a ton to be thankful for. This year I suppose I feel a little guilty being all happy and thankful and all "look how good I have it!" -- when over in Israel, my sweet friend Liba and her family are having to lock themselves in their safe room each day when sirens blare, indicating rockets are flying over her house. Liba has 4 children. A husband. A job. She is no different than me, other than the fact that she chose to raise her children in her husband's homeland. Israel. God's country.

So while I'm over here making my grocery list for my white chocolate bread pudding, Liba is sleeping pretty poorly, probably with one eye open while she waits and wonders.

My lack of sleep will only come from hot flashes and night sweats. I live in a city known for it's violent crime....and yet I sleep in peace, knowing we are not at war. There will be no missles, no threatened ground attack.

I watch the news and hear politicians and wonder if no one has read the Bible. It's all written out there for them. I'd trust the Author Himself over some foreign correspondent or "expert" on Middle East affairs.

But that's just me.

I look at my children and fear what is coming. I've always believed in a pre-tribulation rapture, and right now I'm hoping I'm right. I cannot bear the thought of my children having to live in a world like the one into which we are heading. I wonder if we were wrong to have kids. I remember the 9/11 attacks --- I was one week away from delivering Tucker --- and I recall wondering what was going to happen...never in a million years thinking that one day not too far away the Middle East would be in the situation it's in, with terrorists taking over and threatening to destroy Israel.

I pray for my friend, and for her neighbors and friends. I pray that God will protect them and watch over them tonight and every night.

Again.

Recently, I got into a discussion with some women who, like many women in this country, believe that when it comes to feeding a child, breast and bottle are equal. "Either is fine."

You know, I try to maintain some semblance of composure.

Really I do.

But really? Do intelligent, thinking women REALLY believe that? Or do they just say it to appease those that chose not to breastfeed? I really can't figure it out.

I can't comprehend how we can know the facts -- the unequivocal, scientific facts -- and yet still have this discussion.

The science has been done, ladies. The information is there.

And yet so many choose to ignore it. I know why. I blogged about it here.

I have so many precious patients and friends who honestly went way beyond what I could have done to make sure their children were breastfed. I know women who would have given their right arm to nurse, but for reasons such as glandular insufficiency or mammary hypoplasia just could not bring in a full milk supply. It is a slap in the face to these women to hear "either is fine."

I love to tell the story of the formula rep that came to me after delivering her first baby for help breastfeeding. She confided to me that there was "no way in hell" she was giving her child a drop of formula. (She went on to breastfeed for 2 years. And the child never got a drop of formula. And she quit her job, saying that she was ashamed of herself for having told the lie for years to women that, you guessed it, "either is fine".)

Imagine being able to feed your child organically grown fruits and vegetables year round. Imagine having access to free range eggs and grass fed beef. Imagine having your freezer filled with those healthy, delicious offerings. And imagine saying "no, Johnny, you can't have that. You get McDonald's for every meal."

That is precisely what you are doing when you make the choice to feed artificial, pharmaceutical formula.

That is not ok. It is not fine. It is in no way comparable to breastmilk.

The worst part, however, is the sexualization that these not
thinking women place on a woman's body, specifically her breasts. A relative of mine wrote:

I don't know when I was little these things were innocent and we were given bottles to feed the babies. Not every parent wants their kids to have that innocence taken away. I know that with my kids I would like them to not have to worry about that and asking me those questions at such a young age. Plus I have boys! I'm personally not for it but I also dont try to tell the little girls here that they have boobs when they are little & they dont. Let them enjoy this time... they get to deal with all that grown up stuff later on. I miss the innocence to things.

Gulp.

It made me want to literally sob to hear her (as do so many women) equating seeing a woman breastfeed to losing ones innocence. Really?

My children breastfed forever for 2 and 3 years each. They know what a woman's breasts are for. They aren't "boobs" or "titties" or whatever vulgarity you want to use. They are breasts and they make milk. That is what they were designed by God, the perfect Creator, to do.

My children have seen me breastfeed. They have seen other women breastfeed. They know it is the natural, normal way children are fed.

For my kids (and many others), bottles and formula are the freakish thing. They cannot comprehend why a woman would mix a powder with water and feed it to her kid.

The infant formula industry is an $8 billion per year business. Across the globe, huge advertising budgets are spent to convince women that it is better and more convenient to bottle-feed their babies.

Formula contains dioxins, PCBs and organochlorine pesticides. Water is often contaminated (yes, even in the US) by parasites and bacteria. Chlorine, weed killers, insecticides, solvents, lead and arsenic are common contaminants in public water supplies.

But you use bottled water, you say?

Bottled water may also contain contaminants.

Formula itself may have contaminants introduced in the manufacturing process. In the past, recalls have been ordered because of contamination with substances such as broken glass, fragments of metal and salmonella and other bacteria. The fungal toxin aflatoxin has also been detected in some commercial formulas. This toxin is known to cause cancer. Infant formulas also may contain excessive levels of metals, including aluminum, manganese, cadmium and lead. Soy formulas are a particular concern due to very high levels of plant-derived estrogens (phytoestrogens) in soy products. In fact, the concentrations of phytoestrogens detected in the blood of infants fed soy formula were 13,000 to 22,000 times greater than the concentrations of natural estrogens.

Some formula companies have been affiliated with pesticide or chemical companies that make hazardous chemicals. Others make products out of polyvinyl chloride plastic.

Formula is the product of a large and unnecessary industrial process, all of which adds to pollution in a variety of ways large and small. The list includes production plants that pollute, trucks that burn polluting diesel fuel, the use of harmful pesticides and genetically modified organisms to grow soy and cattle fodder, packaging that contributes to deforestation and pollution and more -- all in service of a product that is both nutritionally and developmentally inferior for infants.

So back to that familiar statement that "either is fine" --- your call. What do you think?

(Breastfeeding Exhibit A: 3 kids who were all exclusively breastfed well into their toddler years. Never been sick (except for a few colds and a flu once) and none of them have ever been on an antibiotic. All have above average IQ's and are classified as "gifted"):

Fifty Shades of Magic Mike

"I have something to confess."

Those are the words a very dear friend spoke to me through tears (the ugly kind, with snot and all) a few years ago. I admit, I wondered what on earth could be so bad? She must be having an affair.

"I'm addicted to pornography."

My mind turned to Playgirl, Hustler, and generalized "erotica" (that can sometimes go beyond the simply erotic to the downright vulgar).

My friend went on to tell me that it was romance novels that were the culprit of her addiction.

Romance novels? Not pictures, stories of S&M, bondage, and the like? Surely that doesn't qualify as "porn".....does it?

To my friend, and many women around the world, it does. Pornography, according to dictionary.com, is defined as "obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, especially those having little or no artistic merit."

In case you are wondering what defines "obscene" the answer is: "offensive to morality or decency; indecent; depraved."

So yes, I can see how some romance novels can cross the line from "romance" to porn. A few salacious scenes can lead the mind to places that aren't exactly, well, helpful or edifying to our minds or our souls.

Not only is it dangerous, it is sin.

Matthew 5:27-28 says "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Gulp.

Lust begins by a single glance. Then it moves into the heart. And then, occasionally, we act on it. (Remember David and Bathsheba? The roof, the roof, the roof was on fi-yah!) As Christians, we have to guard against engaging mentally in any act of unfaithfulness.

Women have a very strong tendency to become emotionally attached to characters and ideas that can lead to a dissatisfaction with what we have in reality. Pornography in all forms causes marital discord. If my husband is looking at erotic pictures or reading about how a woman responds to a man in a story, he could potentially look at me with disappointment. But let's face it, men are visual. Women are much more verbal. Which is why most women don't look at pornography...they read it.

Which brings me to the current fads of the year.

Fifty Shades of Grey.

Magic Mike.

Remember the last line of the dictionary.com definition of porn? "Having little or no artistic merit" --- and that sums up these not-so-artistic offerings in a nutshell. For starters, the book is the worst writing in the history of writing.

Nothing disturbs me more than poor writing. It is without excuse. Really.

I am honestly horrified for my fellow women out there who love the book series and the characters. It is psychologically disturbing, sexually repugnant, and emotionally draining. The movie is nothing but filth. I mean, obviously Matthew McConnaughey is the utter definition of "eye candy" -- but does watching Matt teach newcomer Channing Tatum how to strip, party, and pick up women do anything at all to enrich my life? Teach me a lesson? Have any redeeming message? Does it even really entertain me?

No.

And I dare say it doesn't entertain the majority of thinking women out there either.

And I read once that MM doesn't use deodorant. How sexy can that be?

While the movie is totally mindless, the book is not.

There is nothing sexy about humiliation and controlling behavior. (Women who love the series are quick to say "but he gives her 'safe' words to use when she feels uncomfortable!" -- which makes me cringe. If there is a potential for being or feeling unsafe in my relationship, I don't need a safe word. I need out).

My personal feelings aside, the one recurring thing I hear from women is this: "I wish Christian Grey were real" or "I wish my husband were like him".

Ouch.

Statements like this are the reason that pornography is so detrimental to relationships. Your partner is never like the person you saw or read about. Studies have shown that pornography causes actual damage to the frontal lobe of the brain. Psychologists the world over can testify that it causes relationship damage...every.single.time. Even with casual use. Even when used by a couple to "enhance" things a bit.

Perhaps what I find most disturbing about the whole "mommy porn" fad is the fact that many women posting about their new genre of entertainment are self-professed Christians. These women post silly, giggly posts and pictures about the books and the movie, urging others to read or watch.

"Temptations are sure to come; woe to the one through who they come. It is better to be thrown into the sea than to cause another to sin." (my paraphrase of Luke 17:1-2)

"...decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother." (Romans 14:13)

As Franck in "Father of the Bride" would say, "Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you....."

Yes, I'm a party pooper. But *I* didn't say it.

Jesus did.

I dare you to call Him a party pooper.

"...live for the rest of the time no longer for human passions but for the will of God. For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you; but they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead." (1 Peter 4:2-6, emphases mine)

So what if you are the only one of your co-workers or the only team mom that doesn't indulge in the sin of the summer? No matter how hard it is to be the party pooper in the crowd, we are called for more, ladies.

Way more.

"God has not called us for impurity, but holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God." (1 Thess 4:7-8)

"Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called." (Eph 4:1)

"Do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written 'You shall be holy, for I am holy'. " (1 Peter 1:14-16)

I mean, seriously girls. Where does it say that we can take a break, get off the hook, and just watch a "silly little movie"? Where does it say that it is ok with our Saviour to indulge our minds in sin?

You're right. It doesn't.

And here's another thing, while I'm on the subject.

What kind of example are we setting for our children? What does it tell my daughter if she sees a book hidden in my nightstand (or on my Kindle) that I would absolutely d-i-e if she read? I want so much more for her. I want her to have respect for herself and for men. I want her to know that no matter what the other girls are reading/watching/wearing, we are to live in a manner worthy of our calling! We have to guard what comes into our eyes and ears. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to do just that.

A youth pastor from years ago said something that I will never forget (some 30 year later, it still is in my mind when I make entertainment choices for myself): imagine reading, watching, or listening with Jesus sitting right next to you. Would He approve? Would He find it of value?

I believe that God finds great value in the arts. In the beauty of a painting. In the written word that makes you pause and re-read a sentence because it was *that* good. In the song well sung, or the instrument played with skill.

There is so much beauty around us. So many good books, excellent movies, and soul moving songs. So many beautiful works of art. God has not deprived the Christian of art and film. He has blessed us generously.

We only need to use discretion in our choosing.

"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion." (Proverbs 11:22)

That is totally one of my favorite verses. It just says it all, doesn't it?

So back to my friend that I told you about. It has been a long season of praying and staying accountable, but she is doing so good. I love her for her courage and her honesty.

And I'm pleased to report that the last time I saw her, there was no evidence of a gold ring anywhere near a pig's snout.

Happy Reading,

faith and baseball

I love 7/8 baseball. It's so fun to watch these boys that are really getting the game. In 5/6, they learn the basics of the game, but it's just sort of painful cute to watch. By 7/8, the boys make the game exciting....they are learning the subtleties of the game and their individual positions, and their own personal talents and gifts begin to shine.

One of the most difficult things for the boys to do is to look to their coaches after they hit the ball. Their inclination is to watch the ball in play and see what is going to happen. In practice, the coaches drill into them "When you hit the ball, drop the bat and RUN! Watch the coaches to see what to do next." It's a matter of trust, really. Does the 3rd base coach really know what's going on? Will I be safe if I follow his lead?

Will I be safe if I follow His lead?

That is the bottom line of faith, isn't it? Once we hit the ball and acknowledge that Jesus is our Savior, He instructs us to, well, drop the bat and run. To go into the world and make disciples. To love God first and our neighbor second. To give everything up and follow Him.

As we are rounding the bases, how many times do we take our eyes off our Coach? We get tagged out time and time again because we've taken our eyes off of Him, wondering if He really sees the big picture. The thing is, we cannot run and look around at the same time. We would fall every.single.time. We really have no choice but to trust that He sees it all and is either telling us to stay where we are or to run harder, keep coming, don't look back....

Sometimes I foolishly forget that my Coach is on my team. Heck, he founded my team. He cares more about it's survival and success than I do. His reputation is at stake. We are an individualistic people {that is my made up word for selfish} we like to think we can do it all on our own. We like to think we are responsible for our successes. Just as Griffin's coach desperately wants a win, God wants a win from me.

Through me.

In me.

God can see that each little individual success adds up to one ginormous win for His team. Each time I choose Him over me. Each time I give a little more of myself, my time, or my money....each time I listen to a hurting soul, tend to a broken heart, touch a wounded body.

'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Taking our eyes off of ourselves is so stinkin' hard, though. It's not easy to stay focused on someone that isn't, well, me. I'm so much like Peter, who was walking along on the water....as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus. Once he looked away, he began to sink. That is just so me. I find myself treading water more often than I care to admit.

The thing about it all is that it just takes practice. Griffin and his teammates have to consciously fix their eyes on Coach Craig over on 3rd and refuse to take their eyes off of him. With practice, they have gotten really quite good at it. They have to fight that internal battle to not look out to see for themselves where the ball is and what is happening on the field.

As Griffin and the rest of the team round 3rd and go sliding, running, skipping, and flying into home plate, they are awarded with a multitude of high fives, slaps on the back, butt, and helmet. They are surrounded by stands full of parents and siblings on their feet, yelling and cheering and clapping wildly. They can at last look up and see the scoreboard. The big picture.

And one day, prayerfully, as we round 3rd and head for home, we will see the same thing. Those that have gone on before us will be just like those in the bleachers at the ball park....standing, applauding, and cheering us on. We will get a whole lot of heavenly high fives and saintly slaps on the back.

And then our Coach will look us in they eye and say "Well done..." And He will point to the scoreboard, and on it we will be able to see for ourselves...The Big Picture.

So go ahead....

The next inning is about to start....

Play Ball!

Urgent prayer request

Today as I was praying for my sweet friend Tricia, I came across this old blog post I wrote years ago as she was waiting for a double lung transplant. Every day back then, heck -- every breath -- was a miracle.

And then I wrote this and Tricia was triumphantly the owner of brand new lungs.

Today Tricia is again in a fight for her life as she is experiencing organ rejection. Please pray --- right now --- for her, for Nathan, and for sweet little Gwyneth.