Change the world...

My family has been watching The History Channel's miniseries "The Bible" for the past few weeks and the kids have been waiting (im)patiently for Jesus to come on the scene.

As an aside, they have heard Bible stories all their lives, so they were rapt with attention to detail...and sorry, Mark Burnett, but according to 9 year old Griffin, you got quite a few details wrong.

So tonight, much to our delight, Jesus was born.

Annie and I cried. Really, we did.

It was so real, so dirty, so beautiful....a newborn baby born in a stinky, dirty stable.

I thought immediately of the Mark Lowry song "Mary Did You Know?".....as I looked at the young actress portraying the Mother of our Lord, gazing into the face of God -disguised as a newborn baby- I wonder what she thought. I wonder how it felt to know that your child was born of God. Was God. Is God.

But then...

Fast forward to when Jesus comes on the scene, coming to be baptized by his cousin (who, by the way, was rocking some righteous dreadlocks). I loved the baptism scene. I loved the scene with Peter even more.

"What are we going to do?"

"Change the world."

I smiled....no, I grinned from ear to ear, with tears streaming down my face.

After all, that's precisely what Jesus tells each of us. He calls us to follow him, just like he called the original disciples. Those boys dropped their nets and abandoned ship....literally. Sadly, we don't do the same. We list 67 excuses why right NOW isn't convenient for us. We tell Jesus our list of to-do's just can't be postponed. Our kids have a dentist appointment. Our jobs have deadlines. Dinner needs to be cooked. That extra money was going for a new car.

"Change the world."

I wonder....if we knew that our obedience would bring the Kingdom a little closer....would we do it?

If it meant that a hungry child would eat tonight....would we do it?

If it meant that a dying man would meet His Savior....would we do it?

"What are we going to do?"

"Change the world."

Will you?

On the Road Again...

I hate moving. Have I ever mentioned that?

You'd never know it by looking at our family's moving history. While I don't take the entire blame for our gypsy-like roaming, I suppose at some point I could have put my proverbial foot down and insisted we stay put. However, I wanted my husband to be happy and content, and so we have moved. And moved. And moved a few more times.

I can say with 100% accuracy that God has orchestrated all of our moves....doors opened miraculously, jobs and homes found easily....so part of me says that God moved us this many times. I can see in each place we've lived at least ONE reason that God placed us in that particular place at that particular time.

So how do I answer people who make fun of us? Some are well meaning, just kidding kind of folks. But there's a whole other realm of "kidding" -- the point at which it actually hurts. What I want to say is "Take it up with God. Make fun of HIM. He's the one that keeps us hopping."

But then I wonder.....is it Him? Or is it me?

And if it is me....is that bad?

I have always said I wanted roots. I wanted my children to know one place as HOME. I moved so much as a child that I never felt secure or a sense of belonging.

That's IT! Belonging. I don't know where I fit. In Manteo, I was Paul South the columnist's wife. In Bardstown, I was the new mom in town (and the Editor's wife). In Biloxi....now there I can say I fit. I loved it. Loved the people, loved my house. But hubs wanted to go to seminary and he was in a bit of a post-Katrina depression/funk/job thing, so we moved to New Orleans (when most of the city wasn't even up and running again).

I fell in love with this city. I love the culture, the music, the food, the language, the color. I love my job. I love being a part of someplace so unique. I never thought I'd leave.

Until we left. It's difficult to live in this city without a good bit of money. Schools cost a small salary (unless you're brave enough to send your kids to public school or lucky enough to make the Lusher lottery). We felt we had no choice financially but to leave.

But....

Lafayette stunk. There's no other way to say it. I regretted it the moment we got there, and it only got worse. I was hated at my new job and had no one to back me up. I knew instantly that I wouldn't be able to stick it out. But the stubborn part of me didn't want to give in and move back because of what others would say about me...about us.

Eventually the whole family was begging to go back to New Orleans, and so we came back to try to make it again. And again, we stretched and saved and sacrificed as long as we were able. Illness made us realize we were all alone without a back up plan. Well meaning friends are always available, but when you're looking at life and death situation, you need family. You just do.

So here we are again, on the cusp of a new adventure. I won't say it's our last move....I can't see into the future. But I hope and pray it is. I hope that the kids make amazing friends and love their schools.

I hope we all find contentment and peace and joy.

I hope we all feel a sense of belonging.

I hope we all feel we are finally home.

Impressions

Yesterday while perusing Facebook, I ran across a picture my aunt had posted on my sister's wall. It was a picture of my dad as a teenager.

Yes, I inherited my father's eyebrows.

Now, I've seen a lot of pictures of my daddy over the years, and I've seen this one before. But when I looked at it yesterday, I saw my Griffin. Plain as day. It was Griffin's goofy little 9 year old face staring back at me. So I went and grabbed a picture off of the wall of my dad as a young boy.........and sure enough, it was my little Chi-Chi.


Griffin got a big kick out of the picture. "He looks just like me!" he exclaimed.

Sadly, my father died 2 weeks before I was born. I never knew him. But I know of him.

My entire knowledge of my dad comes from stories I've heard from my family. My mom, my aunts, grandparents....they are the ones that created the image I have of my father.

It's funny when you think about it. What someone SAYS about a person becomes the truth of that person's existence.

It makes me think about what I say about my children, my husband....my God.

When others don't know who I'm talking about, my stories define that person to them.

Ouch.

I don't know about you, but I tend to worry/complain/stress/whine a LOT. I don't intend to...but I always wind up "venting". It is one of my worst qualities, and I've fallen under conviction in recent months to stop it.

Isn't it funny how God begins to orchestrate change in your heart months before you can see the problem clearly?

My New Year's resolution was to have a more "gentle and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4)
and more specifically, Ephesians 4:29: Do not let any talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I don't want to give others the impression that my Lord is not able to solve my problems. I have no reason to worry or fret or complain. He is abundantly able to do far more than I can think or imagine.....He always has and always will.

When I am surrounded by unbelievers, it is my job to relate to them that Jesus is my Healer, my Savior, my Everything. He is the Master Problem Solver.

So, if you run into me and I'm talking trash about my family or giving my Lord a bad name, just smack nudge me and say "Ephesians 4:29".

After all, I readily admit I need the accountability.

And really....who doesn't need a good Scriptural slap in the face every now and then? ;-)