Being a helpmate, version 2010

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."  Genesis 2:18

Help meet. Help mate. Helper. No matter how you word it, it all comes up to the same thing: submission.


Nobody really likes that word. But it is what it is, and it is something I have to contemplate every once in a while. You know, to make myself slightly miserable uncomfortable, in a convicting sort of way.

Around my house we joke about it. 

Pablo: "I'll do the dishes."
Me: "No, that's ok. Thanks for offering. I'll get them."
Pablo: "No, really, I'll do them. You rest."
Me: "No, I'll feel guilty"
Pablo: "Submit, woman!"

And we laugh and Pab does the dishes and I go ahead and feel a touch guilty. (Though I do go ahead and put on my pj's and watch American Idol. While laying down in bed. And maybe having a snack.)

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:24)

In my mind, I want to be a submissive wife whose husband is the designated spiritual head of the household. I mean, I like to say that at least. If I were honest, though, I'd tell you that I'm a bit of a OCD nightmare control freak.

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18

I have a very difficult time trusting that anyone (not just sweet Pablo, but co-workers, family, friends...) can do anything the right way the way that I do things. This would include every arena of life, be it job seeking, finding a home, paying the bills, doing housework, homework. (Major AHA moment: I wonder if this is where Tucker gets it...)

...and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:4-5

I know that God made marriage the way He did for a reason. I know that the man is the "head" of the wife. I know this. (Did I mention that I know this?) I can read through the Bible and see example after example of women who were just like me just didn't get it. Eve, for example.

...she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Genesis 3:6 (bolding mine)

Ummm......did you notice that Adam was right there with Eve when all this went down?  And did you realize that back in Genesis 2:15-17, God instructs Adam, saying:

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, "but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die." (bolding mine)

So what I'm getting at is that maybe if our boy Adam had been obedient to God, he maybe would have taken control of the whole garden shakedown and said, "Whoa, Evie. God told me we can NOT eat of this tree. And by the way, you're switching up what God said in the first place. Maybe I didn't tell you or maybe you're just mistaken, whatever. But the deal  is I'm the boss of you and we will not eat this because God commanded it and I will have to stand before  Him in a few minutes and answer for all this crap (ok, he probably wouldn't have said crap), and just cause you are nice to look at and all doesn't mean I'm gonna stand by and allow this!

I guess my point (which is aimed solely at moi) is that God knows what He's doing. So when He instructs us wives to submit, He says it for a reason. He knows better than me, right? He knows the deal, and He promises that He has good plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11). So maybe if I'd just let go.....just really, truly let go, then Paul could do his God-appointed thing and God could do His sovereign thing and maybe, just'll all work out just fine.

Without my intervention.


Amber said...

This is the kind of stuff that I happily decline from discussing.

Because I like to be in control but let everyone else think that they are.

So, thanks for the reminder....uh...I think. :)

Amanda Moyers said...

Thanks so much Jenny! I am encouraged to know that other women struggle with this area and are concerned about it. I know that as for me I am most content when I submit to my role and allow my husband to have the role God has given him (especially since part of his role is to cherish me!) I miss you and your sweet family!

lisasmith said...

hey!! I'm linking here today my friend... love you girl and i will be thinking of you as i enjoy my starbucks this morning... every move needs starbucks. xoxo

Robin said...

You said the "s" word...

When ever my ugly, self absorbed, controlling self raises its head in our marriage. I have to speak rather loudly to it and say "GOD KNOWS BEST." and "Timbo has my best, our best at heart. He is a good hearted man."

For some reason that quiets my soul and then I can tell Satan to take his bag of lies about submission and hit the door.

Unfortunately, I have to do this more than I like. You would think that I would learn the lesson, already.

Thanks for speaking truth about an unpopular subject. As Christian women we need to stand up strong on Biblical truth even when it isn't comfortable.